Tuesday, 17 February 2015

my lent

The post in which I am actually rubbish but still happy with myself. A rare treat.

Today I feel like a clever human.

There have been pancakes, (not these, these were for my birthday, and they were rather nice albeit not quite so fabulous).

And then the door handle with all the tiny screws exploded in my hand (I have the wounds to prove it). Oh but I fixed it. Yes, indeed, I'm proud of myself for fixing a tiny DIY problem. 


Following on from my DIY win, I was thinking about the conversations with my doctor and others* yesterday. Indeed my thoughts turned to Lent. Pancakes are lovely and I'm entirely atheist but perhaps it's a handy defined amount of time in which I can focus my energies. In a time in which I find it hard to focus on the future. A time in which I am trying to live in the moment as the future is a hideous monolith, focusing on such a long time seems a fool's errand. But perhaps I am a fool?

So for Lent I am going to try and push suicidal thoughts from my mind. 46 days. At the moment it seems like an eternity but I can try.

Oh that and coke (of the cola kind).

Are you giving something up for Lent?

*It's a little embarrassing to say I have a "care co-ordinator," I'm not sure why, everything around mental health is so self-stigmatising and makes you feel like a dreadful human, even when everyone is trying to not make this happen.

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