Friday, 16 September 2016

my friday favourite

Fridays are for frivolity. Oh yes, all the frivolity.

Since I worked as a checkout girl at Waitrose (gah being a 16 year old and not a partner when the bonus used to be at least 20%) I've had a rule about not studying on a Friday night. I think I can remember only once when I broke this rule, oh group study, bleurgh!

Oh how I love going out on a Friday night with two days to recover or coming home for Bean cuddles. Tonight I shall be at home hopefully with fish and chips and maybe a glass of Lillet Rose. Ooo what are you up to? Are you with a Friday night rule?

Anyhoo, frivolity. Like many of you, I harbour a deep love of stationery, oh the beauty. I want it all. I've lusted after many beautiful personalised notecards in the past. Oh Smythson, one day. But I just stumbled upon my new favourite. I'm not usually one for emojis but how I love a smiley poo, he make me giggle so.

And whilst I may not have my own home, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps? (I always told myself that my first present upon buying a flat would be a stationery delivery in one of those beautiful blue boxes). This lady, very much a rented lady, could stretch to a correspondence card or two, no?


Have you ordered from Papier before or do you have your own paper joy? Do tell. I promise I'll try to keep it secret!

I'm super excited about this weekend. I get to do some painting and create a few Potentially Motivating Penguins for you lovely people. I can't believe so many of you have contacted me about them. I'm almost proud of myself! Who knows, this time next weekend I may have myself a little Etsy shop! Oh I cannot wait for tonight!

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

i used to be a wedding blogger


I used to be a wedding blogger.
It seems so long ago,
Now I sit and cry all day,
Oh quite the tale of woe!
My new mantra?!?


Sorry the woe is strong with me today! The fear of change is gripping me tightly and forcing me to run to the loos and have a quick sob every so often. I will not cry in front of my colleagues! Especially those who might be rather judgmental. I'm not sure I could cope with their eyes and thoughts right now.  

Starting up this little ol' blog again has made me think about my roots. The Bean and I have only attended two weddings this year and we will soon celebrate 6 years of marriage. It seems like yesterday we were giggling at the surreal scene of us more than knee deep in snow. 

I realise I never really spoke about my wedding. Am I too far gone from the wedding scene to talk about weddings again? I'm not sure if you would want to hear about it or even if I have anything thoughtful about that day. 

However, I know I still have all the thoughts surrounding the emotional aspects of weddings and marriage but is this old lady flogging a dead horse?

Perhaps each Wednesday I can reveal a little Wedit - a wedding edit - of the prettiest of the pretty baubles which have caught my eye over the past few weeks. 

I have to say there have been some beautiful dresses perfect for a bride on The Outnet recently. 




Oh yes from Alexander McQueen!







Tuesday, 13 September 2016

yesterday

Thank you so for your kind words here and on Instagram. It feels nice to be interacting with people again. Although I definitely need to find a way to bring you all back here, but early days anna, try not to be sad that people aren't flocking back to a blog that effectively died 3 years ago!

But really thank you. Please know that I know I'm not an artist. Oh my, art lessons at school were certainly not my forte. Art homework was my nemesis. My old art teacher used to mark our work with a sadistic level of passive aggression. Satisfactory (just) was his favourite remark on my attempts.

So no, I'm not an artist, I am an proud (well not quite, I'm not great with the confidence although you have bolstered me!) attemptist. Yes, an attemptist is what I be. If that means I can create something that will make someone smile and then in turn support a special charity which makes me smile, hells yeah, I'm going to attempt that!

And so to Etsy, methinks, do any of you have any experience with them, could you offer me any advice?

Anyhoo, back to yesterday. I was hoping to resolve a few issues yesterday but alas no. Although "things" may have started to move in the right direction. However as I think more about my situation I am beginning to worry that getting what I want is not necessarily what I need. Alas getting what I want would be the only way to test if it is what I need. Gah. Life, eh?! Sorry to be dreadfully cryptic, the fear of jinxing the exciting possibilities seems rather powerful. So I shall wait a little longer for things to develop.

Yet, yesterday was not all sads, Bean and I went to the Sherlock Holmes themed immersive experience, The Game's Afoot, at Madame Tussauds. A combination of Punchdrunk lite and an escape room. 5 suspects for three murders and you are tasked with whodunnit! Actually a lot of fun, albeit a bit too busy and thus you couldn't really talk to some of the suspects but fear not both Bean and I separately came to the same correct conclusion! It's a little pricey but the set is beautiful and the actors are very good (a little hammy - but what more would you expect!) A lovely little night out. I must get back into trying escape room. They make me smile.

They make me smile like my little penguins. Perhaps I shall sit in the garden and try and create a few more? Hello Indian Summer! I might have a few more to show you tomorrow!

But first I'm off to give these two monsters a cuddle. These little foster kittens have lived with us since they were 3 days old and hopefully in the next couple of week we will be able to adopt them! They are fluffy and cute and silly. Purrfectly impurrfect.

Monday, 12 September 2016

Potentially Motivational Penguins

Hello Monday morning. 

Perhaps you'd like a little joy to entertain your trawl through all those emails?

I spoke about my instagram in my last post. I'll admit it's been slim pickings for the past few months. I've barely had the energy to scroll through the happy faces and exquisitely styled images leave alone actually create something myself.

However, I have created a few things and rather love a little watercolour especially after attending a little workshop at Quill London with the amazing Emma Block.

Anyhoo, the hospital I attend for therapy asks different units, wards and services to create art for a space on a rotating basis. So I tried to create something. 131 little anatomically incorrect baby penguins with words helping and hindering my little brain. How I enjoyed spending time focused on something which actually brought me joy. What made things slightly more satisfying was that someone has offered to buy all of the little beasts. All 131 of them! Craziness! 

They night not be much but perhaps they are something. What do you think?



So I had a thought.

Might some of you like a Potentially Motivational Penguin to cheer up your life? I have been branching out into other birds so how about a Fairly Motivational Flamingo?! Hmm, which other animals could be motivational?

Perhaps I could create something to make someone else, maybe you, smile and in turn I could use those pennies to donate to a charity very close to my heart. Which might make my brain and heart a little happier.

Would you be interested in something from anna and the draw(r)ings?!

Sunday, 11 September 2016

again

I feel as if I've been writing to you (if there still is a you, so maybe just me at this point) every day since February.

So many nights I've lain awake with my thoughts racing, I found trying to create a narrative for this blog a little calming, Using those thoughts, reworking and refining allowed me to sleep. I admit that perhaps it caused me more problems that it solved, perhaps prolonging my insomnia but a girl has to get through the night some how. Trust me when I say it's infinitely better than pacing for hours trying to stop yourself from running outside and throwing yourself in front of a train.

So here I am, again.

I miss blogging. I miss people. I miss life.

I can see my slow decline, I can mark it through my "life" on instagram, Sad, but true. I can see that I have stopped wearing my "hello world, perhaps you should notice me" glasses (see below - although the smile looks a little forced at least I was trying) and stopped attempting to take pretty/thoughtful pictures. I have retreated. Cocooning myself in nothingness. I have put up a veil of sarcasm and hidden behind the sick role and stopped people getting in. 



The last time we spoke was just before my birthday. It was a delicious 3 days of fun and frivolity. Perhaps I will write about it soon. I would recommend what I did as a perfect jaunt to London. Afternoon tea, brunch and flowers. Oh it must be written about, despite the rain and bitter cold, there was warmth in my fragile heart. 

Perhaps my return is timely, yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day (a day I always fear and August was not kind) and tomorrow I may have to make a very important decision about my future treatment. 

So I may be back because I think I need to be but also, maybe, I have something to offer?

I have all the thoughts and perhaps none at the sane time. Oh the crippling lack of self worth!

I have a few ideas and Bean doesn't think they are ridiculous so maybe others won't either?

Speak to you soon, I hope,
Ax